So, I’m 37 weeks + 3 as of today and quite honestly I’m not as mentally prepared as I thought I would be.
Everything is almost done (except for cot linen, urgh!), documents are in placed (admission documents from the gynae received yesterday), things packed, confinement herbs bought yet I still feel like I’m missing something.
For the first time in countless visits with the gynae yesterday, I didn’t try to wrangle for a shorter gap between visits when he said “see you in 2 weeks”. I would well be in my 39th week by then but I suppose both of us acknowledged the possibility of our next meet taking place in the delivery suite when gynae joked about it twice saying “or see you and your ping pong (that’s how he addresses baby chungkin) in delivery next week? Ha Ha”.
I trust this gynae’s judgement quite a bit so even when he tried to make it sound a little jokingly the 2nd time, after seeing my face freeze a little (I’ve got a lousy poker face) the first time he mentioned it, I knew I had to be prepared.
I’ve also been limiting my going out activity these few days to appease the concerned husband & my mom (mainly just to pre-natal yoga & back), and been spending lots of personal time alone catching up with my thoughts and speed reading respective breastfeeding/childcare/parenting books that I was supposed to have finished reading some 2 weeks back. And then there are moments when I do get caught up with silly trivialities such as “what if mil interferes with how I care for baby?”, “what if there’s no breast milk?”, “what if I can’t get along with my CL?”, “what if domestic helper can’t get washing of bottles steps right?” etc. but I soon snap out of it, reminding myself there’s a bigger picture to caring, providing and bringing up a child than these little fusses and small mindedness. Just like how reading all the “good-to-read” books on parenting & breastfeeding won’t necessarily make you a better or more successful parent although it may equip you with a little more confidence to attempt things for the first time – my way of self-consolation in case I’m unable to motivate myself to read on till the end probably till labour day which will probably be out of desperation by then (since its been said that 1st time moms usually go into a longer period of labour).
But apart from these trepidations, I’ve been feeling absolutely great. I do feel a lot more lethargic than before but can still manage a good 30 minutes walk on a daily basis. I love these walks by the way, whether its just to grab lunch, coffee with someone, a snack or an excuse to get out of the house.
My close-knit group of mommy friends have also been teasing me how the little one is fully baked and that I shouldn’t deny him from coming out (which I obviously wouldn’t be able to although I don’t exactly encourage him during our mommy-son talks these days). Though it’s funny how all 4 of us may just become mommies of “Mar babies” instead of “Apr babies” – which was the group that introduced us to each other by the way. I am very happy that their darlings are going to be future play-mates for the chungkin too. Me thinks I might have just the same amount, if not more fun than little bub with them around, not to mention our common food craves, shopping addictions etc.