Was it just yesterday that I delivered a healthy, adorable bub to call my own? Because it definitely feels so.
Looking at his growth over the past 8.5 months through the 3000+ and counting images that I’ve been happily snapping away always makes me well up in tears in joy. 2012 has got to be the fastest year to pass me by yet.
I remember during the first 2 weeks with the little man, I was in shambles. I didn’t think I’d manage to be the mom I’ve always yearn to be. And when almost everything didn’t work out the way it should have or at least in theory, oh boy – it felt like the longest groundhog day ever. Everything was running in loop with Murphy at the helm. And while I thought I had leap a huge step forward in life when I became mom, undeniably there were doubt & uncertainty that would cloud my mind from time to time and set me a 100 wobbly steps back.
So growth. Physically, let’s face it – I’ve put on that additional 7kg that came along with wanting to be a mom and I don’t think it’s ever going to melt away even with the pilates & zumba that I’ve been sweating out on recently unless some company that specializes in cool sculpting wants to do some charity. In a way I’ve also come to accept nature’s way of giving me a second chance to expand my family (when we’re ready) without needing to go through the heartaches of TTC-ing again. I basically messed up my fertility system 4 years ago (and various doctors confirmed it) when I had an insane rapid weight loss just 2 weeks leading up to the wedding from all that running around, stress on logistics and trying to fit into the dress and not have to hold my breath; and so this time as tempting as it is to be able to wear back ’em pre-preggy clothes that I splashed half of my salaries on – no more stressing the body out.
Mentally, I didn’t think I’d say this since actively choosing to be SAHM (no offense to SAHMs out there) but I actually grew stronger in a different capacity. Granted, I didn’t have bosses & clients’ expectations to manage or mind-bongling colleagues who would suddenly throw you curve balls after curve balls with their complexities that comes with being women mostly, but I definitely learnt more about myself than I would have in the corporate jungle.
I got to come clean with myself on a lot of things – the good, the bad, the ugly, the celebrated. I got to improvise on the spot without feeling like I was obliged too because I was drawing a salary. I got to work on aspects I wanted to improve on with the initiation of a life coach to get things going. I got to be at peace with myself for most decisions – trade in the holidays and indulgent gifts to be a full-time sahm? Sure, why not! And I got to make new friends who showed me a different but refreshing perspective to life too.
On the marriage/family front, we literally grew from couple to family. It was such an endearing sight seeing how involved/supportive the husband was with baby duties as with decisions made.
So for 2012, I’m extremely thankful for the growth that has surrounded me & my family.
Come 2013, I’m definitely looking forward to continued growth in enriching other aspects of me life.
Join us in giving thanks this December!