SO. I haven’t been updating much on the blog.
It’s been hard to, when things you don’t anticipate to happen, happen. Hitting you in the face amidst motherhood firsts. And needing to deal with unfamiliarity such as the repercussions of a fleeting venture gone awry for other’s immediate gains.
But yay, I survived those rough nights. Literally paid a hefty price tag of a lesson learnt. Closure happened. And April came to an end.
Amazing stuff have been happening since, unfolding it’s glory one after another, recharging me full with inspiration, joy & gratitude. I thank the Lord for that.
There’s so much I want to share and explode here on the blog albeit sounding potentially incoherent.I don’t know where to start. I don’t even know if I should. There’s this wee bit of hesitation for now but perhaps time will keep those worries unfounded.
In motherhood news: The little boy turned 13 months yesterday (whose counting?!) along with his ever-growing bag of tricks. He’s gained more confidence in taking a few steps just hanging on to my left or right pinkie which is so exciting when it happens! Though most of the other times, he trust going on all fours more than anything else. This week was also the first time I bade the little fella a “see you later!” as I left for the office one morning. He didn’t quite know how to respond except to wave bye back to me with his usual wide grin.
Yep, I’m officially a WAHM/PTWM now although only temporarily and so far it’s been good!
Initilaly, I was a bunch of nerves wondering how it’d be, leaving Liam for 4 hours and focusing on doing stuff that doesn’t revolve around him. But know what? Everything worked out way better than I feared. My moms have been utterly amazing in taking such great care of him – to the point of pampering him with lots of outdoor time that I had nothing to worry about at all… maybe except for the time when I got a little bored in the office loo and decided to log on to live feed to see how he was doing only to find that no one was at home (gasp! oh, turns out they went to the coffeeshop for some teh-tarik).
Being back at work after a long break has been a breathe of fresh air. I get to wear some heels, wear a dress on some days, carry a bag that doesn’t contain any diapers, put on makeup without worrying that my little man’s hands would smudge it across my face, people-watch gorgeous people in the heart of CBD, have colleagues, be able to joke and chat with colleagues anything not relating to parenthood/babyhood. And all these while not compromising on my care giving duties with Liam has been making me one happy mama. I even got to blowdry (not airdry) my hair for the first time since motherhood!
I’m still gobsmacked at the very awesome work arrangement, fusing my yearn to get the brain active with work + still being able to care for & bond with my son like before. Indeed God works in mysterious ways.
I didn’t know what was in store for me after dealing with the tail-end of April but on hindsight, those trials & tribulations were necessary in allowing me to appreciate the better things that happened ahead of them. I hope this quote gives you as much hope as it did for me.
Have a blessed May, everyone!