I didn’t celebrate my first Mother’s Day last year because sneaking in as much rest in between feeding/washing/cleaning/latching/pumping duties & figuring out our newborn took precedence over everything else.
Regrettably, it was also the first time that I didn’t celebrate it with my mom like we always do – be it a hug & a kiss or bonding over a simple meal. All she got was a text message about how exhausted I was about waking up several times through the night followed by a “Happy Mother’s Day to you too!”. I know, what a self-centered idiot, right? But of course I made up for it as soon as I realized that the world didn’t just revolved around my newly minted “mom” status.
And mom being the kind, generous, loving lady that she’s always been was quick to forgive & forget about it (she wasn’t even angry at her ill-mannered daughter) and even asked how else she could help to ease our tensions in addition to the moral & physical help that she was already contributing.
Our moms are always the best in our eyes and mine is no exception.
“You’re taking me for granted!”, she used to say in a shaken voice during one of those adolescent-induced arguments. Deep down inside, somewhere somehow, after calming down, I knew she was right.
Since my earliest memory as a child, I often assumed that my mom rather pursue her career than enjoy spending time with me. I was angry that my other classmates could boast that their mom stayed at home with them while I was sent to my grandma’s place to be looked during the day. I was angry that my mom had to ask her younger brother (who was staying at my grandma’s then) to help me with/check my homework because she had to work till late again. I was angry that she had to attend night classes instead of hearing about my day at school. I was angry that she wasn’t there to pick me up from school like my other classmates’ moms, except when I was ill and am sent home.
I was quite the troubled child. I had so many questions that I didn’t get the answers to. But thankfully my frustrations were also short-lived. When it came to weekends or days off or end of a long day, mom was 200% mine and would listen earnestly to what I had to share.
And it wasn’t till I realized that my dad couldn’t be bothered whether he had a family or not to care for, that mom was busy making ends meet all along. In addition to being both mom & dad. In addition to needing to soothe my often-emo temperament on having a dysfunctional family. In addition to making sure I didn’t feel shortchanged in any way when it came to education & learning. In addition to dealing with my constant question of why I didn’t have any sibling(s) (because it was too costly as much as she would have loved to).
As sole bread winner , she took on night classes & sit for exams in order to be considered for a better job position (which demanded for a higher salary naturally), and took on extra jobs. And blessed her/us abundantly, the Lord graciously did.
Recently mom shared that the reason why she continues to pamper both me & the bub by sponsoring some fun classes for us to enjoy, and is so supportive of me being a SAHM regardless how temporary is because she wants me to have the opportunity she never had. My eyes welled up in tears of gratitude as I heard this. I now know why her face lights up like a million watts every time she sees the chungkin. She always looks forward to seeing him, hearing about him, seeing photos/videos of him, and would make her way to see him right after work 3-4 times a week even if it was only for 20-30mins before his sleep time. And she relishes these moments spent with him. Even managed to single-handedly take him to an outing to Hokey Pokey recently because she knew how much he’d love cruising around freely.
She loves & pampers the chungkin a lot – sometimes to fault but yet I know that it’s because she never had the chance to experience anything more than a “weekend mom” with me. And I relent.
So even though I’ve been a mom for about over a year, Mother’s Day to me is & will always be about celebrating the wonderful lady that holds a very special place in my heart. The lady that continues to give me immensed strength, love and positivity during my down days, even when she’s having one herself. The lady who never fails to pick up a cue on my moods no matter how hard I try to hide. The lady whom I used to talk about my BGR woes freely with. The lady with the smile. The lady who treats her son-in-law like her very own. The lady whom most of her team colleagues often endear her as “mama”.
You get the drift. My momma & me, we’re more than BFF-tight. 🙂