I got quite emotional yesterday.
It was Liam’s preschool excursion out (parent-accompanied compulsory) so instead of leaving for work right after dropping him off, I hung around. He looked at me quizzically for a bit, said his goodbyes again before tears quickly welled up in his eyes.
“Mummy, come. Come” he started to cry uncontrollably.
I rushed over to his side, asked what was wrong and it was then the relief teacher (his form teacher had just gone on maternity leave) informed me that for the last few weeks he had been crying right after I leave and would only calm down till she agrees to call me to come pick him up earlier.
My heart sank a little hearing that. Guilt started to rush in. My little boy has been concealing his sadness (even the Bo was surprised when I shared with him later) with no complains about school so well, always greeting me with a big smile when I pick him up and telling me he had such a good day at school…and I couldn’t see through that?!
I ended up hugging him a little tighter throughout the day. We had a good time, checking out the various species of fruits & vegetables, him running into empty open spaces and me all ready to throw him a big smile and hug whenever he ran into my arms. I was glad I took time off and came along with the excursion.
It wasn’t until after he was deep in slumber later in the night, and I heard him crying in his sleep for me to hug and carry him despite my whisper of assurance that I was right beside him as I cradled him, that it hit me hard once more how much both of us were actually affected by the change to come.
Instead of feeling bad towards baby in-utero, I rebuked myself for allowing Liam to feel this way. Was I not been showering him with enough affection? Was I not assuring enough that our littlest addition to come would only make this family growing bigger in love and laughter and not take any of that away? Was I that pre-occupied with my own successes that I neglected my little man’s feelings?
It’s obvious that my 2-yr-old’s actions say a lot about how much he loves me.
p/s: Photos are taken from this morning’s STP Pass It On 2014 fundraiser. Happy to participate in this for the 2nd time to do my part in WorldVision Sponsor A Child Program and thrilled that we managed to get a slot albeit last min after Bo’s initial travel plans were cancelled. Liam wasn’t the most corporative in dishing out smiles unlike the previous round but it was pretty obvious that he just wanted me. *heart melt* Can’t wait to see the photos from the professionals soon!