The plan was to have us discussing if I wanted to fix a date for induction during yesterday’s visit at the gynae. But who would have known it being 9/9, a birth date so easy to remember you couldn’t possibly forget your kid’s birthday, and also the day of the much anticipated Apple’s iPhone 6 keynote speech would be so popular that I overheard a patient’s husband exclaiming to a nurse that there were 21 caesareans scheduled for the night that they needed to check if Mt. E had availability for their 9/9 induction.
And so when the doc saw me and asked “how?” I chuckled and asked if I could set a 19/09 date instead since my EDD was 2 days away so technically I was in the “safe zone” right? I told him the bad experience I had with TMC over 2 years ago and their lack of rooms AND beds, and that I was left in cold storage for a bit right after delivery because the staff from the previous shift didn’t inform the next shift that I was still waiting for my room/bed (I didn’t make any noise and neither did the Bo because we thought it was protocol for me to be left alone in the delivery room sans lights & air-con until I found out much later…) to which he said 2 things to me:
– What makes you think 19/09 won’t be popular as 9/9 (mm, true that)
– I don’t think you should aim too high
We went on to meet the little fella. Baby was looking good, weighing 3.02kg (which was similar to Liam at about the same gestation) and then the doc had a little frown.
I hate it when that happens. And asked the obvious.
“Look at your placenta, not as swee (hokkien word for ideal)” he said. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
“Well”, he said “baby is starting to squish into the placenta” before mumbling a bit about back in the olden days people would determine when a baby was ripe by the looks of the placenta but nowadays, as long as baby is active and healthy that doesn’t matter…before pulling me up and asking if I wanted to see him in 1 or 2 weeks’ time. What a tease.
It sure was unsettling to hear what he just said. But after snapping out of being alarmed (like 20 minutes after), I believed that if anything he saw warranted me getting admitted into the hospital immediately, he would have arranged for it. And so I went home…still pregnant.
It wasn’t till I got Liam home from school and spent the evening with him that it dawned on me that this week might just be my last…being pregnant.
His behaviour was really strange. He started clinging on to me so tightly and despite me carrying him, kept asking to be carried tighter. He refused to play with any of his toys and was happy just to hang in bed with me, smooching my cheeks often and snuggling into the crook of my arms.
Until I got him to bathe and change into his PJs.
He then went into one of those rare tantrums where he cried hysterically for me and that’s when I got really upset.
I lectured him for a bit (no changing into PJs = no coming to my room = no hanging out in my bed) which backfired unfortunately. He then went deeper into his hysterical cry asking me not to go and to hold his hand, and it was at that moment my heart sank so badly tears could stream down my cheeks anytime.
I’ve been told few times by the teachers and mums of 2 kids and more that kids have this acute sense of when baby is arriving even without being told and last night was the night I witnessed it unfold in its purity.
While Liam has been a lot more clingy of late and wanting more of my attention as if knowing that soon he won’t have my undivided attention, his display of emotions last night were rather epic.
I soothe and snuggled him after that horrid episode of tears and screams. I was upset that I couldn’t manage both our emotions properly yet comforted that my little man was quick to allow me into his space and hold him right after I just yelled at him for 3 consecutive times. He must have felt really terrible, not being able to control his feelings and not understanding why all this was happening. And I had to salt his wound further.
He eventually cried himself exhausted and fell asleep shortly after. I decided to let him doze off in our bed for a bit before carrying him back to his room. I felt awful for unleashing my frustrations on him, and worse when he had 2 nightmares through the night screaming for me to carry and hug him and for “mummy to sleep with me”.
This morning involved lots of tears too while getting him ready as he kept saying “I want mummy with me”. He probably knows this week might just be it. And I might be getting that stay in Mt. E after all.