2nd week, 2nd time around has been admittedly easier with the newborn. I’m better at reading baby’s cues, getting the correct latch position without needing a breastfeeding pillow, not stressing over milk issues despite doubling my supply (and then little Ollie decided to increase his appetite), and generally letting go of the “I want to do everything” mindset. Except for sleep deprivation – still don’t know how to and don’t want to handle that better.
Having a confinement nanny this time meant that I could be more hands-off with Ollie apart from nursing sessions which guilted and liberated me at the same time. Knowing that my littlest was in good hands gave me the chance to spend more time with Liam and address his feelings towards the recent bout of changes. And even that was absolutely trying, counting by the number of times I ended up scolding, raising my voice and imposing a time-out on him for every meltdown and/or refusal to do something. I eventually succumbed to replacing my disciplining with the iPad instead – bad move I know – but having to handle everything alone without the Bo was starting to leave me miserable. I couldn’t do it alone, and he couldn’t take any leave. In the end, I left it to Peppa Pig to entertain my little fella to his heart’s content…a move which inevitably came and bite me back in the arse for the next few nights.
Thankfully friends came by to visit with playdates, offers to take Liam out, gifts for both boys and homebaked cake goodness during the week. It helped that Liam had friends he was familiar with coming over to play with him instead of visitors coming mainly to visit his new brother. Mum also took time off work to take Liam out to Gardens by the Bay and the park so that I could get some rest between feeds. And when I finally felt physically and emotionally better towards end of the 2nd week, I took Liam out to explore our new vicinity together – hopping on buses, trains and running around in different playgrounds.
That evening, after our first day out together, Liam asked if he could carry and hug his little brother Oliver for the first time. When I saw how fondly Liam looked at his newest sibling and gently stroke his body, I couldn’t help but tear in joy. Liam finally acknowledged Ollie right after I acknowledged his need in wanting my full attention by spending a day out together. He was even okay with me hoping over to nurse Ollie in midst of his bedtime routine save for one day when both boys cried for me at the same time. I attended to Liam first of course as he was more aware of my decisions and had a nasty bump to the head due to a sleepy spatial judgement on his part, while his little brother had nanny attending to his needs.
It’s been a trying week. Better than the 1st week, but trying nonetheless. Next week will see Liam go through a 3rd major change within a month – attending a new school. I’m nervous just thinking about it and hope that I will enough strength, patience and love to help Liam through it.
In random, totally baby-unrelated news, mum got me an iPhone 6 this week to cheer me up and it did!
With the 2nd week whizzing by seemingly faster than the 1st, I’m pretty sure the 3rd week will be over before I know it.