Over the weekend, we celebrated our 7th year wedding anniversary without much fanfare. There wasn’t any fancy dinner like past years, no surprise bouquet from the Bo, no gifts to each other, no dressing up for the occasion (plus the weather has been crazily hot & humid), no wine (because I rather have durians over alcohol). Heck, we didn’t even wish each other when we woke up – I headed straight to pick our littlest bub who had woken up to start his day at 6.45am and was cooing for my attention; followed by a snooze which was short-lived and interrupted by our 3 yr-old who wanted to watch Tayo on the telly…
When we finally got out of the house some 2 hours later to meet our friends for brunch, the Bo started an argument mid-way of the journey over how disruptive Ollie’s sudden cry for attention (and probably some milk) was, and how it wouldn’t have happened if I had squeezed myself between the 2 car seats behind instead of wanting to get some leg-room in the front passenger seat. I’ve been in the driver’s seat before with a hysterical-crying bub in the backseat so I am aware of how painful it is to concentrate on driving without getting affected. I was naturally apologetic (towards the husband even though he didn’t voice his opinion when I asked if I should sit behind or in front) and started keeping a look-out for the nearest, safe stop to get to so that I could quickly get to the back and attend to our crying-for-the-last-15-minutes-bub. But the husband was obviously on a different plane of thought. Instead of finding the nearest and safest place to bring the car to a halt, he went on about how a similar situation has happened before and how frustrating it was to drive with a baby who was crying and screaming at the top of his lungs…and ended up missing 2 consecutive turns to our destination.
I, on the other hand, just wanted to move on after acknowledging the oversight I made. And so I told him straight – yes, I’m at fault. But do you want to address the crying a not? If so, stop me at the car park lot in front and let me hop on to the back. I managed to appease our little attention-seeker eventually and turns out he wanted some milk and hold my hand. What a horrible way to start our 7th anniversary, I sighed. And for a brief disappointing moment I started to question … were we becoming one of those squabble couples?
I must have worn my heart on my sleeve (or in this case, face) too obviously that the husband gave me one of those big, strong hugs and told me “you know that even when I get mad at you during those arghhh moments, I still love you very much right?” after we had parked the car and were walking to meet our friends.
A good friend told me recently that he and his wife could tell the husband & I are still very much in love with each other. And funnily, he’s not alone in letting us know that sentiment. 7 years of marriage, 2 kids and 1 house move later, I thought that we would have led an “autopilot” marriage life. Then one day the husband started telling me important stuff in the event of anything going wrong just before his work trip and that’s when I knew this family meant as much to him as it did to me. Also, we realized our fights were big blowups because our passion for each other was strong.
I guess the reason why I’m putting what happened on our 7th wedding anniversary day out here on the blog is to remind my future self that despite the fights and our disagreements, regardless how depressing or mad it drives us, one thing remains strong. Love.
Well, the day turned out to be a pretty awesome. A day of milestones in fact. It was our first celebrating our wedding anniversary as a family of four. Our first time finally getting to meet and take a photo with Kung Fu Panda Po (we didn’t see him during our last 12 visits!). And sadly our last and 13th visit to Universal Studios (our pass expires tomorrow).
It was also Ollie’s first time having yoghurt and getting bread in his mouth because the food in the thermos wasn’t enough for him, so it was funny watching his expression as he tasted the two.
When we got home, mum surprised us by cooking some prime steaks and bringing out cake for dessert (even when her original plan of surprising me with a cake from one of my favourite bakers, Brick, foiled).
So, our 7th wedding anniversary didn’t involve any dancing, wine or flowers. But it was definitely a first of its kind – one that involved our kids a lot, one filled with good ol’ love, one that had lots of family group hug, one spent with our closed friends, one with food prepared with love and one that had Liam wanting to decorate our cake with his current toy of the moment.
Happy 7th, my Bo. I know our marriage life isn’t all hot dates, romance and wanderlusting to beach locations anymore but I’d have you know that there is no one (except our 2 boys while they’re little and cute) I’d willingly put the toilet seat down after on days that you forget to, but you.
Let’s grow old, weird, smelly, and funky together. To many more years ahead.