About a week ago when we entered 1 July 2015, officially the 2nd half of 2015 – I wanted to write something on the blog. Something reflective. Something sombre. Along the lines of being glad that the first half of the year was over us. And maybe fit in something snarky just to up the entertainment value for readers’ sake. But tried as I might, draft after draft, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to criticise how bad the last 6 months of 2015 were to me, even though I was in such a bad emotive state at the moment of blogging it out. Because I could not deny the good times the first half of 2015 did bring me.
Good times of seeing Ollie grow from an adorable 3-month-old flipper to a 9-month-old confident cruiser and crawler who will climb on any and everything his legs can get a footing on. Good times of seeing Liam grow to be a very confident 3-year-old who has no qualms about telling anyone how he really feels and bringing lots of laughs to his teachers and peers with his witty comments. Good times of embarking on new adventures to new places, parks and outdoor spaces. Good times of being able to choose to stay home after a year and a half of freelance work. Good times of gatherings with friends. Good times of getting to know new friends (@bumblebee & @mmlittle amongst them) and having more fun than what most people would assume SAHMs do. Good times of brunching/lunching and cafe hopping with the cousin. Good times of going on road trips with my girlfriend and her family. Good times of being able to spend 13 visits within 6 months at Universal Studios Singapore with people I loved. Good times of getting continued mentorship from one of the most genuine people that I know, who has not only taught me a lot about life and helped me to streamline my thought process, but also help me improve my socio-psych skills.
And then along with the good, life also threw me some bad lemons just to balance it all up. Like June – a month which most of it was spent recovering from a badly swollen feet that was bitten by a nasty sandfly, having petty conflicts with the husband over not wanting to change our family car to a boring, “soccer dad” looking MPV and almost losing Liam for 6 minutes. Or January – where my eye caught a really bad case of conjunct that I had to see 3 docs, I thought I was going to go blind. Feb was particularly memorable – my hair was permed wrongly twice just before CNY that I had to chop off my ends or risk having an afro-looking hairdo. March was a horrible bruise to the ego when my skin flared up and so many blemishes appeared for the first time after using a new skincare product. And May was absolutely painful – with our spending increasing by 300% suddenly due to unforeseen circumstances. It was easy to slide into an emotional, depressive state each time these events derailed us from security and predictability, challenging us in ways incomprehensible but we chose to respond otherwise. We chose to be proactive about it.
Then interestingly in the last week, just when I was wondering when my theme for 2015 was going to start accelerating unlike 2014’s year of change when I started experiencing my first epic change in January by being pregnant with Ollie; it happened.
In the next week, Liam’s embarking on a new adventure (I am doing my best to turn this around into a positive experience of embracing the new as much as I really like his current one), I’ll be at a new place doing what I love while still being able to enjoy alone time and SAHM-hood with boys, and the husband will finally get his 2 extra car seats, a lot more boot space (to buy bigger presents and a bigger Christmas tree, he claims), extra headroom and mileage for his fuel.
Right up till this morning, I was fretting and freaking out unduly for the change ahead. Surprising random good friends by asking their thoughts towards “what-if” scenarios I had already played out in my mind – one of mind games that I’m superb at by the way. And then I realized, it doesn’t matter if I don’t know how I’m going to get through what’s ahead. I just have to know that I am going to do it.
Charles R. Swindoll says life is 10% what happens to us and 90% who we react to it. To making every day for the next 6 months of 2015 count!