Most times I look at my Facebook news, blog & Instagram feeds and instantly feel like a lousy parent.
My kid watches the iPad more time than I care to admit, he gets sips of soda when he asks for it, eating french fries is a treat he gets fairly often because we had a “good” day with 80% cooperation and 5% tantrums, I don’t tell him that yoghurt is ice cream – he now knows the difference. I don’t do any amazing cooking & baking because offering him cookies & snacks that I enjoy eating as well is actually easier, the only craft time he gets are from the weekly classes I pay for. And fun, interesting outings? That usually happens once a month or twice a month (if we’re lucky) because lazing around on weekends after a crazy week at work seems way more tempting to the Bo & I.
And I am embarrassed by it. Which also explains the lack of “post-worthy” posts on my social feeds because…who cares to knows about that stuff that they are already guilty of? People want to be motivated, inspired, wow-ed on social feeds don’t they? What good will more of those self-pity, woe to me posts do for anyone right?
So once in a while when we finally get to going something out of the ordinary – like getting Liam to try the skyride and Luge for the first time yesterday, SCORE! – I HAVE to post it up!!! This was not the first time the Bo asked why I was busy typing away on my phone (I’m posting something, wait…must choose a nice photo to post) or why I had to justify that I was making an effort to do different from the norm to others. I think in a sense I was just subconsciously submitting to peer parenting around me. I wanted to be acknowledged for being able to carry out a fun activity with my kid too…to make up for all those 29 lazy days that I don’t.
Thankfully most of the times when my ” fun” posts goes out, it receives positive responses. I usually get asked where, how much, what a great suggestion, and it’s heartening to read how our once-in-a-blue moon activity can excite and add to another list of family fun activities for others.
I supposed it also helps that these posts are manageable for others in a sense that we attempt these activities infrequently enough to spur others lazy
bums parents out there. Back in the days when I was a full time Sahm, I received a lot of private messages about being privileged that I had time to do this and that,and having the energy & resources to take Liam out everyday (what people don’t know is the real motivating factor behind that) etc. While I don’t deny being lucky to spend so many waking hours in the first 18 months with my firstborn, that choice itself did come with its own set of sacrifices.
Boring days are a norm for this household. These are the days when we laze at home all morning, get out for lunch because we want to spare our helper some time off during the weekends, walk the malls that charge cheaper parking, head to free outdoor playgrounds around the neighbourhood till evening comes and then head back for dinner. Nothing instagram-worthy about Liam running crazily towards an open field or wanting to read the same book thrice but nothing that makes me feel like a less of the good mum that I strive to be.
This is a true representation of our family’s routine. While it may be a nice-to-experience, I would like my kids to grow up realizing that we don’t need to lead glossy celebrity-worthy moments all the time from social media ideals & standards.
About time I quit forcing the son to give me his “happy face” for social posterity’s sake eh. Heh.
p.s: this post was inspired by this article
p.s.s: I do really appreciate blogs/sites that offer a list of family fun activities and refer to them A LOT.