I know, it’s been a while. A really long while since I shared anything on this space. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, but I knew that a break away from blogging and posting content for the sake of was necessary.
Slightly over a year ago, I started to see a (lack for a better term) ‘life coach’. I first got acquainted with her through a workshop my mom signed me up for – mom happened to ‘walk-in’ to her workshop preview and was so impressed that she decided to register for me to attend (and we’re talking about one session costing over $300). “Just take the day off and show up for the workshop, my girl. I believe you will hit if off with her (because she reminds me so much of you) and she might be what you need”, mom insisted. My mom rarely insists on anything, save for wedding and confinement traditions, and so I couldn’t bear to break her heart (and waste her money).
Turns out mom did know better. I just didn’t realize it yet.
On the morning of the workshop, seeing and hearing how my 5 other classmates were budding entrepreneurs, and knowing the sort outcome they wanted from the workshop and how they were excited to learn to tell a better personal brand story; made me feel like I was wasting mom’s money when I said I wanted to know how to better craft my blog’s identity because I wasn’t contented with the current ‘voice’ and ‘controlled’ authenticity in my posts. There were way more topics which I wanted to share my unabashed views and experiences on, which I knew would be beneficial – even if it was for a minority group – through 1 to 1 interactions with the few who reached out. More importantly, I wanted to write for my future self to introspect. But each time when I got to writing my first paragraph, I started to doubt myself, polluting my mind with uncertainty, negativity, the ‘what ifs’, and how others (who don’t even matter) might think. Yep – I shared all that during the workshop when I had to go up front to present my mood board coupled with sharing how confused I actually was; if I should be using the workshop to help me craft better stories for my clients’ campaigns at work or use it to work on myself/the blog. The crowd couldn’t be more encouraging about the latter, and still I didn’t think much of it. I just wanted to get through the full-day workshop with a consistent subject (i.e.: the blog) to put into practice on what was being taught.
That evening right after the workshop, we went for a round of drinks where everyone was more familiar with each other to start sharing personal life stories, and our trainer shared about her other interests which intrigued me. I didn’t think we’d keep in touch (as with other workshops & seminars I’ve attended in the past) and was pleasantly surprised when a group email was sent 2 weeks later, where more intimate conversations with 2 of my classmates ensued. I also re-connect with the trainer again some months later over a chance email I received, and that’s when I started my first ‘life coaching’ session with her.
“What do you want to talk about? What do you want to address?”, she asked at the start of our first session. “I don’t know. Everything?”, as I offloaded frustration after frustration only to wonder if it helped. I found myself going back 2 months later, and then a little more frequently. Earlier this year, I was introspecting and reading summaries of our past sessions when I realized how much of what I committed to setting out to do came to fruition.
Being in the media industry where I’m constantly observing trends, learning how to continue reaching out to and engaging the screenagers (yep, they’re slowly but surely becoming the new ‘millennials’ TA), evaluating content sites/blogs and anticipating the next big marketing/digital movement – I knew that in order to start fueling the joy of writing on this blog again, and creating the kind of authenticity I wanted – I had to take a big step back and focus on working on myself first, no matter how long it took.
I just didn’t think it’d take almost 9 months to be ready to start baring a teeny bit of my heart out on this space again. But just like exercising, if it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.